What Kind of Love Do You Deserve?
Many researchers have looked into how a person’s self-worth affects the type of intimate love they accept. Whether it be a relationship with a fair balance of “give and take” or one in which the table is drastically tilted towards giving or taking, it’s believed that people embrace a love that aligns with their thought processes and self-talk about who they think they are. “I deserve love like everyone else”can translate into a healthy, functional relationship. While negative self-talk can lead to disappointing relationships that result in resentment, dissatisfaction, and a sense of loneliness. “I am not pretty enough.” “I don’t have a killer career.” “I am a single parent.” “I’m too old to fall in love.””If he/she didn’t love me forever, no one can.”
Viewing your worthiness of love in relation to how you view yourself is a dangerous slope. Unfortunately, it can be an uphill battle to see yourself as others see you, which is who you truly are. You deserve a healthy kind of love that fills your heart and makes you feel wanted, loved and connected.
When you feel yourself engaging in negative self-talk about yourself and the state of your love life, recite these 3 positive statements to boost your sense of self-worth and put hope back into your heart:
- “I deserve a love that makes me happy and feel safe.” That’s a great place to start. You may have other stipulations for love, but avoid crafting the finer details of how your love should look because love is nothing if it isn’t unpredictable.
- “No one and no relationship is perfect.” That’s right — no one is perfect or has a perfect life or a perfect relationship, despite what you see on social media. Setting an impossible standard of perfection to which you measure yourself or your relationship or your success at finding love will lead to disappointment and failure. Perfection is unattainable so don’t hurt yourself in the long run by putting that kind of pressure on yourself.
- “I cannot control the time in which love finds me.” You may be so anxious to find love that you settle for a relationship with someone who you never fell in love. The experts say falling in love is all chemicals, which isn’t the whole story. The emotions and connection you feel when you fall in love are so powerful that when times get tough (and they will) you can reconnect with those moments in time when you felt the fireworks explode deep in your soul.
Write these down, save them on your phone, create a wallpaper with these positive statements. Brainwash yourself with positivity and engage with life, so you can recognize the love you deserve when it comes your way.
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